I’m so far behind on my fourth novel, a Washington, D.C., mystery thriller, I’ve forgotten who the murderer is. But I had to take time to write an extra column on (Doctoress) Jill Biden’s unintentionally hilarious speech Monday at something called the LatinX IncluXion Luncheon in San Antonio, Texas. In the speech, Biden delivered the parodic triple-threat line: “With the understanding that this community, as distinct as the bogodas of the Bronx, as beautiful as the blossoms of Miami, and as unique as the breakfast tacos here in San Antonio … ” Now, unlike the perpetually offended Left, we Latinos find such pathetic pandering hilarious, especially knowing the political desperation behind it. That Dr. Jill’s bungled salvage job will only accelerate mass Hispanic defections to the Republican Party only makes the situation funnier.
Discounting her ridiculous words, we scoff at the ignorant mindset of the cluelessly woke millennial/Gen X White House brain trust that sent her there so poorly armed. The overwhelming majority of us would never attend a LatinX IncluXion anything — one big reason southern Texas is flipping red faster than a Mexican jumping bean (whoops) — and turn off at the word “LatinX.” Unsurprisingly, subsequent news stories on the debacle omit the event title, referencing the more ethnically digestible organization name, 2022 UnidosUS Annual Conference. It won’t help.
Whatever the name, there stood presidential zombie mistress Dr. Jill, repelling everyone but hardcore Latinxs. We normal types got more laughs from her than the last five years of Saturday Night Live. Take her total butchering of the word “bodega,” which she pronounced like the plural of the capital of Colombia: “as distinct as the BOgodas of the Bronx.” It’s obvious Jill Biden has never gone into a bodega. She probably has not set foot in the Bronx.
To the Democrats, we Latinos are no more than part of their food chain for maintaining power.
Next followed her out-of-nowhere phrase “as beautiful as the blossoms in Miami.” I’ve lived in Miami for 12 years and have no idea of the blossoms she spoke of. But not trusting my local expertise against that of the White House brat pack, I did an internet search for the elusive Miami flower. The first five hits were purchasing outlets for Miami Blossom perfume. The others were florists.
Then came the line that may have lost a million votes: “as unique as the breakfast tacos here in San Antonio.” Few words could better encapsulate what the liberal elite think of Latins (note, Hispanic gender neutrality achieved minus the ridiculous X factor). Who other than identity politics–driven progressives would refer to an entire ethnic population as food?
In a sense, though, it’s eerily accurate. To the Democrats, we Latinos are no more than part of their food chain for maintaining power. In their utter ignorance, they think they can just add another hive-minded “nonwhite victim group” to their Rainbow Coalition of everyone except straight white toxic males. To them, an open border will guarantee a flood of Democrats. The more of us there are, the more permanent their rule.
They can’t process diversity within our population. Oh, instinctively they know that Cubans fleeing a socialist hellhole — deludedly, in their view, from a “communist paradise” — tended to vote differently than the majority of continental Latin Americans. So the Caribbean waters are stringently patrolled and all balseros returned to their utopian homeland, while through the Mexican border all are as welcome as burritos.
It is slowly penetrating the leftist brain that we Hispanic residents just might object to a massive influx of illegal aliens threatening our jobs and draining the system we support, even those with similar last names like Lopez, Francisco, and Aguilar. That maybe we’re more patriotic than our progressive leaders. That, shockingly, we worship Jesus and respect the Catholic Church — yes, the same annoying Church that primitively decrees sacred life begins at conception and abortion is a forbidden infamy. We believe in traditional roles for men and women and that there’s no such thing as switching from one gender to the other — not another but the other. And, unlike leftists, we know America to be the greatest, freest, fairest country on God’s green Earth, while they deem it a black hole of racism, sexism, and homophobia. Why, they grumble, can’t we just be good little serfs and accept their Trojan Horse bearing gifts? (READ MORE from Lou Aguilar: Latinos Versus the Demoncrats)
Well, they may defy our thinking, but they can’t afford to deny the polls. A new New York Times/Siena College poll shows just 32 percent of Hispanic voters approve of Biden’s presidency while over 60 percent disapprove, an unprecedented 42-point plunge in 15 months. Hundred-year-old Democratic strongholds are flipping Republican. On this course, the Rio Grande may become the Red Sea in November, flooding all blue hopes for permanent power.
So ran (Dr.) Jill Biden to southern Texas to rally the dwindling faithful. But all she managed to do was amuse us. “We are not tacos,” responded the National Association of Hispanic Journalists. Not so fast, suggested two prominent Latino Republican senators. Florida’s Marco Rubio temporarily changed his Twitter profile picture to a taco. And Ted Cruz of Texas said, “Personally, I’m a chorizo, egg & cheese. 🌮🌮🌮.”
Of course, (Dr.) Jill apologized for her silly remarks via a tweet from her spokesman, Michael LaRosa: “The First Lady apologizes that her words conveyed anything but pure admiration and love for the Latino community.” So now we’re Latinos again. I almost feel sorry for the Latinxs, only I’m still laughing.
